Bad loser 

This evening we played for the third night in a row a game of jaydens favourite-cards!! Yep he’s a massive lover of snap,and higher or lower..(he’s a pro at higher or lower) We find that this stimulates him before bed and leave’s bedtime much easier and manageable for us all..we all joined in as a family,and tonight his granny was an extra at the table. Our Jayden you see loves winning,and I think yay great,I just indulge greatly at his wee proud smiles and his expressions,but when he doesn’t win it’s a different story..he HATES getting beat..his daddy is a softie and “pretends” Jayden won regardless..just to skip the meltdowns,but I however,don’t agree..(anyone else on my side in this)?? I think regardless of how upset he is he has to learn how to be a loser and “deal with it”. I may sound cruel here but nothing satisfies me more than to make sure he is happy in his wee world but one day away back chatting to the principal of his school he told me a few wise words that obviously haven’t left my mind,he said “you know,Patricia you can’t always worry constantly about jaydens feelings,and you can’t wrap him in cotton wool forever” (this was my lowest,back when he was diagnosed) I didn’t want anyone hurting him mentally because mud stuck with him,and today I recall those words every time I see him upset at not winning or getting praise,there is going to come days when (god forbid) my “wee superhero” is going to get picked on or shouted at or have no one there for him to play with or feel intimidated sometimes and I won’t be there for him. I need to learn him from something as little as being a loser in a petty game at home to losing at a football game or sports game at school..his competiveness could one day see him isolated and having nobody to fall on. That as a mother is my biggest dread and worry one day..and I find me and my husband having different views in this area sometimes as he just wants Jayden happy, so do I,off course I do but I want him to learn the rules and how to deal with things when it’s not in your favour..again my old saying pops up in my head “you have to be cruel to be kind” and whoever made that saying was obviously a good loser..😃🌈


4 thoughts on “Bad loser 

  1. I relate so much to this! My 5 yr old has a language delay and he’s extra sensitive like me. I dread the day he’s hurt! It hurts me to think that the other kids will notice his differences. But, I don’t let him win. Which is kinda protecting him in a way too, it gets him used to it.

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    1. Absolutely..we need to show our kids how to tolerate typical loutish behaviour on their own,if we don’t now then down the line they will crumble..I am currently trying to molly cuddle him at the best of times but only because I want to not through the need to..I wish you the best with your wee 5year old blessing..because that’s what they are..if only we “really” knew what went on inside their wee heads,it would probably break our hearts ❤

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  2. Our roles are flipped in this family. I am the one that always lets him win, and my husband teaches him that he can’t always win, and the games have rules. I hate to hear him scream, so I always give in. I agree – he has to learn to play the right way. My little guy has been picked on. He is still in a diaper and LOVES Spiderman – and it lends to unkind words. So far, he is oblivious to the words. But I hear them. And I dread the day that he understands that people are being mean to him.

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    1. The wee angel..how alike are our boys?? Mine is obsessed with Spider-Man also,he has all his replica of clothes and toy characters and is also a big fan of all the superheroes (batman,iron man ect) hence why we call him superhero ha!! I’m at the stage you dread now,he is coming in from school with derogatory words and immature chat,learning it all from older boys at school,unfortunately it’s the world in which we live in,trying to tell them NOT to speak these words is almost impossible because what you expect them to do they head the opposite way..but there’s no such word as can’t, so with perseverance and plenty of it we have the ability in turn to see our children know right from wrong and have more of an understanding regardless of what school friends or bullies tell them..X

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